Darkland|org

I turned sixty on 25 August of this year. I was homeless twenty days later.

A friend sent me a super long text yesterday telling me to using the theft of my home as a springboard in to a new chapter/adventure--I don't remember the exact wording, but that's the gist.--of exciting possibilities.

Yesterday was the worst pain day I've had in a while. So far today is pretty bad, too. I know my friend was trying to be helpful and [unintentionally toxically] positive, but I don't think they understand the extent of the damage to my body--or mind, for that matter. Compound that with age, and I can't just pickup and "start again" like I could, and did, in my twenties, thirties, forties, and attempted to do in my fifties until a workplace injury and some cascading [damaged] leg problems ended that effort.

So, yeah. My situation is an extreme blow. I don't have the physical ability or resources to dig out of it on my own this time.

To  be fair, I had help from others during those other times of picking up and moving on. The reason that I'm not living in my car now is because I'm being giving help. The difference between now and then was I was much more resilient and much less damaged.

I just don't know how to pick up this time. I'm losing the struggle with the mental and physical damage and pain.